A Special Tutor Gives Me A Gift

After a tiring, wet hike down from Pinchot Pass, George and I decided to make camp early near the Woods Creek bridge. The sun made a surprising appearance, and I took the opportunity to dry gear and catch some Golden Trout for dinner. After this feast, I found a granite bluff overlooking the forest for my evening yoga and meditation practice.

For Bhakti yogis like me, a goal of meditation is to build relationships with the Supreme Being (Bhagavan) and others. Usually, my meditation is not particularly dramatic. Krishna arrives for a friendly chat, sometimes Saraswati plays a tune, Ganesha takes care of a problem on his cosmic Helpline or I just sit quietly with my own atma (soul). But this evening a very bright wave of energy struck me right in the heart, and from there branched out to my whole body. I felt like I was glowing while completely at peace and ecstatically happy. Sorry, my language skills don’t come close to describing the experience. This pulsing, radiant energy continued for some time, and I identified it as pure Love in a form that I could see, feel, touch, and taste.

And then an image of Jesus appeared just in front of me in a seated, cross-legged position. He told me that what he was giving me were the energy waves of Unconditional Love. It turned out to be the answer to a prayer. In this blog, I’ve been writing about my mission to understand and practice Kindness, Compassion and Unconditional Love. And here was Jesus right in front of me giving me a taste of it…pretty darn cool. After a while of receiving this bounty, Jesus asked me if I’d like to send some of that Love energy back to him. I gave it a try. At first, what I sent was weak and intermittent, but gradually I improved. My biggest challenge, however, was staying focused. Often, I would lose the moment, as my mind veered off to some other subject. Jesus told me it didn’t matter. All I needed to do was practice to sustain the exchange of Love. I asked if he was here as my tutor, and he agreed. Apparently, part of my curriculum in this lifetime is not only to have an intellectual understanding of Unconditional Love and to practice it, but to be able to feel its energy.

Over the next several days of meditation, Jesus returned to tutor me. I got better at the practice. It occurred to me that it would be helpful to give myself a physical cue to remind me to practice this new gift. Inspired by what Krishna taught in the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter Four) I began a breathing exercise to help me quickly reunite with the taste of Unconditional Love. I inhale to breathe in Love and exhale to share it.

For several months now, on and off the trail, this breathing exercise has helped me to remember how to experience this ecstatic Unconditional Love. This has helped me to extend the feeling longer as I build up my Unconditional Love muscles. Sadly, I’m not living up to the goal of always remembering and never forgetting. That may take a while. And honestly, it’s a lot easier to experience the ecstatic feeling of love than practicing it in my everyday interactions with people.

Fortunately, my tutor is patient with me, and is always there to help when I remember to ask. I haven’t always had such a close relationship with Jesus. While I grew up in the Christian religion, the churches I attended never really gave me a taste of him. The rituals, dogma and culture of religion never spoke to me. However, that changed when I began to pray when I was in my late teens. Prayer helped me to develop a more personal but still weak relationship with Jesus. Later, I studied texts like the Sermon on the Mount, and this helped me to intellectually understand his very revolutionary message of Love…often far different than what the church had to say about it. When I became a yogi, I began to experience this kind of ecstatic connection first with Saraswati and then with Krishna. But this is the first time I’ve had this more in-depth relationship with Jesus. I’ve always said a thank you to Jesus during my daily prayers but didn’t really have an energetic attachment with him. Now I do, and I’m very grateful to call him my tutor.

October 19, 2021October 19, 2021

108 is the Magic Number

How important is the number 108? Here are just a few examples from an article that appeared in HimalayanYogaInstitute.com

The distance between the moon and the earth is 108 times the diameter of the moon.
The distance between the earth and the sun is 108 times the diameter of the sun
The Sarsen Circle Stonehenge has a diameter of 108 feet.
There are 108 double stitches on a baseball.

108 is “Nature’s secret code,” governing the dimensions of everything from the Great Pyramid at Giza to the iconic seashell called Nautilus.

Please add a comment if you know of other examples.

I’m told that ancient yogis believed that we could attune ourselves to the rhythms of creation by completing practices in rounds of this sacred number. More importantly, my teacher Jeffrey Armstrong, requires his students to chant mantras precisely 108 times. This is not terribly difficult when you’re sitting down in a quiet place and use a mala (prayer beads) which has exactly 108 beads. It’s much more difficult on the trail while maneuvering around rocks, roots, snakes, snowfields, landslides and being diverted by breath-taking views.

I worked very diligently trying to chant a mantra 108 times. I achieved a C- grade on this test by the time I arrived in Canada. I used my fingers to keep track from 1 to 10 but remembering whether I was on 50 or 60 or 90 often eluded me. That’s because a steep trail section required attention, I stopped to talk to a fellow hiker or my memory sucks because I’m old.

I’m not sure if I received the truly auspicious benefits from chanting a mantra 108 times, but I found belting them out did provide some specific benefits:

Om namo shivaya om shakti ma: Asking Shiva for strength helped power me up those 2,000-foot ascents.

Tryambakan ya ja mahe….Also invoking Shiva, this medicine song helped heal aches and pains from shin splints, plantar fasciitis, blisters and other assorted aches and pains.

Om aing namo dewi Saraswatyai namaha. Invoking Saraswati helped me to listen more closely to the sounds and rhythms of the forests, deserts, and other places I wandered.

Om aing namo dewi Parvati namaha. Singing to Parvati helped me find peace when I was scared.

Om aing namo dewi Lakshmi namaha. A tribute to Lakshmi and all the mothers in my life.

The Nashringa mantra.. This invoked the mighty Nashringa, the incarnation of Vishnu as both a lion and a human to ward off evil spirits.

Jesus Loves Me..This simple nursery rhyme helped me communicate in a very powerful way with Jesus.

And many more. Because after all I hiked 2,200 freaking miles.

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

The Truth Shall Set You Free….if you understand what it means

When I first read Gandhi’s autobiography about how he developed his method of non-violence, The Story of My Experiments with Truth, I understood the history, but was confused on how he defined Truth. In fact, the story is about his evolving understanding of Truth as he confronted empires to lead India to independence. Truth means more than correctly stating facts. Indeed Gandhi took the term beyond its conventional meaning of being truthful in thought, speech and action. Ultimately he arrived at the idea of Absolute Truth which he defined as Truth is God.

“Truth is God, and truth overrides all our plans.”

Interestingly, however, Gandhi makes Truth an individual quest. He said, “Truth is what the voice within tells you”. It is a person who is the authority of this knowledge. It is not a cultural tradition, a Holy Book nor any social or state organization to determine the content of Truth. It is an individual in the final analysis, after discussion with others and seriously pondering, to make the decision.

To understand this better I consulted my teacher, Jeffrey Armstrong (Kavindra Rishi). He pointed me to the definition of Dharma to explain what Gandhi was getting at.

Dharma: From the root dhri—the essential nature of anything, which, if you take it away, that thing is no longer itself. For example, the dharma of water is to be liquid. Dharma is the basis of the English ‘truth’. Dharma also means to stand for what is true. Once someone knows their dharma, their duty is to live that truth. (From the Bhagavad Gita Comes Alive: A Radical Translation)

It sounds so easy; all you need to know is your essential nature. How hard could that be? It turns out that, at least for me, this was the 1,000,000 piece puzzle. I tried out a lot of stuff, explored many dead ends, consulted numerous holy books and gurus and dug deeply into my American, Irish, and Christian cultural traditions. Didn’t find it.

What finally helped was finding a teacher who could explain who I really was: an eternal, conscious, individual and joyous being from the transcendental exploring the material world one lifetime after another until I finish my degree by finding and living my Truth. After that awakening, things began to fall into place and after consulting with others, including Bhagavan (Supreme Being), I realized my mission at this point is understand and practice Kindness, Compassion and Unconditional Love. Writing this blog is part of my duty to live this Truth, but the hard part of course is to practice these concepts every second.

This is where Gandhi stepped back into my life. First, he explained that on our journey to find Absolute Truth we can’t always see it fully, and must practice with only a partial glimpse of it through what he calls relative Truth. This has been my journey…seeing only part of the Truth, and sometime getting peeks at the whole thing. He also connects Love and Truth: “Love and truth are two sides of the same coin.”

And finally Gandhi said: “Whenever you have truth it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected.”

Which brings me to Jesus who said: “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

So even if our culture tells us it’s naïve to believe in Truth, there’s lots of evidence in our own lives that we should run after it with all our hearts. As a wise person said: “Listen to the voice within, it will set you free. And that promise is true for all time.”

February 15, 2021March 7, 2021

What’s so Good about Grace?

Every blog needs an adorable cat photo, especially if her name is Gracie

You can’t earn it. You can’t buy it. You can only receive it with gratitude. What I’m talking about is Grace. It’s given to you freely, abundantly and lovingly by Bhagavan (God). It’s yours to cherish while you live in the material world. It helps free you from the cycle of karma, and it remains with you when you return to transcendental existence.[1]

So what is Grace? All religions embrace it, and I will summarize their views in a moment. But I first want to share my initial experience of Grace. I was 20 years-old standing on the Berkeley shoreline at sunset, and for the first time I experienced being part of God and the entirety of existence for that moment and in all time. This was not an abstract experience, and I was not taking psychedelics or any other drug. It was a very powerful feeling of personally belonging in a loving universe in which God, the natural world, other humans, other animals including me were playing. I realized this way of being was what I had been looking for a very long time, over many human lifetimes. I understand now this experience is Grace. It’s warm and cozy and loving and it explains who you are, and what you are part of.

And then I forgot. I didn’t forget immediately and not entirely, but that experience gradually receded from my day-to-day life. It took a very long time to recover Grace, and to understand the treasure that I had been given. During that more than 40-year long journey I now understand that I was searching to find Grace even though I didn’t know that was what I was looking for it, and therefore I took a very long and winding road to rediscover it.

I began the search by studying Christianity, but that didn’t feel like my path. I looked into other religions as well, but they weren’t my way either. The quest took me to an ashram in Bali where I learned Vedic mantras, and saying those prayers over many decades really did help. It also helped to study Gandhi. My growing love with Felicity pushed me further on the rediscovery process, and when I looked into my newborn sons eyes I began to understand as well. I learned from friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. I learned it from doing service for others. But what really revved up my journey was finding a teacher, Jeffrey Armstrong, who finally explained what those mantras I had been reciting for so many years really meant. He gave me the vocabulary and context to understand my experience that day 46 years ago on the Berkeley shoreline: We are divine beings living in a world that is loving, cozy and fully connected in place and time.

Understanding the philosophy of the Vedas was huge step forward, but to actually return to living the Grace I had once found, I needed another teacher. I found him in Coimbotore, India. His name is Baba and he showed me how to taste Bhagavan (God) again, and once I found that taste I’ve never forgotten it. Once you know the taste of chocolate, you don’t forget it, right?

Oh, from time-to-time, I do forget, but thanks to Jeffrey and Baba, I have the philosophical and tantric tools to get back in the groove, and stay in Grace…for which I am eternally grateful.

Here’s how three religions describe Grace

“Therefore, O Arjuna, wholeheartedly take shelter in the divine refuge of My Being, receive the loving gift of blissful existence, and soon you will attain to My immortal realm.”

Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 18 Verse 62

In Vedic philosophy, of which I am a very imperfect student, Grace, the eternal and unconditional loving gift of blissful experience, is yours simply by embracing Bhagavan (God). Christianity has a very similar view that Grace is the love given to us by God because God wants us to have it, not necessarily because of anything we have done to earn it.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Ephesians, Chapter 2 Verses 8-9

And Grace is a key element of Islam:

“God is the Possessor of Infinite Grace” and “He bestows this grace upon whomsoever He wills (or desires).

Quran, Chapter 62 Verse 4 and Chapter 57 Verse 29

Is it really this simple?

How can there be Grace in a world of suffering, pain and death?
What if I don’t deserve Grace?
How can I get some of that Grace?

Some context may help.

[1] According to the Vedas, (the ancient library of knowledge from which Hindu and other religions derive) who we are really is an atma or soul who is an eternal, conscious, and joyous individual being. We decided to visit the material world (earth, et al) to gain experience. While here, we cycle through various lives and deaths as humans and other animals. This is known as reincarnation. In other words we are eternal, conscious and divine atmas (souls) who go through many lives and deaths. Think of Bill Murray in the film, Groundhog Day. While in the material world, we are subject to the laws of karma which are the actions and reactions caused by the exercise of our free will. When we are finished with what we have come to learn and experience here in the material world, and are free of karma, then we, as atmas, return to the transcendental world from which we came. Note: Credit to my teacher Jeffrey Armstrong for this information. Any screw-ups are mine alone.

And if you really want to go deep:

For anyone interested in a new and inspired translation of the Bhagavad Gita, go to GitaComesAlive.com

December 7, 2020January 22, 2021

Forgiveness…What’s that all about?

Perhaps the two most difficult things for me to say are: “Please forgive me” and its twin, “I forgive you.”

But for my soul to be at peace; to achieve the goal of being kind, compassionate and loving unconditionally, these are words I must utter every day.

According to Buddhist teachings, we should strive to live in such a way that we never harm others or are impacted by those who harmed us. But that’s a tall order in the world we live in. Intentionally or unintentionally, our actions can hurt other people, other animals or the planet. If we are carnivores, our appetites require killing cows, chickens, pigs and fish. Even vegetarians have an impact. For example, converting what were once wild prairie lands into corn and soy bean field destroys wildlife habitat. Water diverted from the wild rivers to San Francisco for drinking and showering has drowned beautiful venues such as the Hetch Hetchy valley, and severely harmed aquatic habitat in the bay and delta.

And shall we count the ways we harm each other? Have you ever snarled at a Customer Support person on the phone, barked at your partner while “hangry?” Or can you recall when you’ve been the victim of slights, insults, robberies, frauds, scams, assaults, cheating spouses, liars, disloyal friends, unappreciative children…you name it?

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting triggered by writing all this junk down. As I sketched out the list above, I found myself digging out memories which in turn brought forth emotions of resentment, annoyance, pain, fear…. and away we go.

Forgiveness is a way of getting rid of the junk, and make no mistake….IT IS JUNK… that clouds our minds, scars our relationships and fucks up our karma.

But we don’t have to hold onto it. We can forgive and be forgiven. Forgiveness is a way of discarding the baggage so that we can move on to something far more soul satisfying: Giving and receiving kindness, compassion and unconditional love.

It’s no surprise that sages, avatars, religions and philosophies all champion forgiveness. It’s one of the most powerful rituals ever performed to bring peace to ourselves and to the universe.

In Judaism, if a person causes harm, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is encouraged, but not required, to grant forgiveness.

“True forgiveness is when you can say, ‘Thank you for that experience.”
Oprah Winfrey

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness:

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
Matthew 5:7

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.”
Luke 6:27-29

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“O people, seek repentance from Allah. Verily, I seek repentance from Him a hundred times a day.”
Prophet Mohammed

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”
Confucius

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”
Rita Mae Brown

Coming Up On Table Stakes:

Simple daily forgiveness rituals

How can I practice forgiveness about something truly awful?

Photo credit: Brett Jordan via Unsplash

October 17, 2020October 10, 2023

Understanding Compassion: So what is it, really?

“None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.” –Mother Teresa

When I started this blog, my goal was to understand and practice kindness, compassion and unconditional love.

Kindness is easy to understand, even if it may be difficult to practice … at least for my combative self. But compassion is more complicated. A few weeks ago, I thought I’d just start typing out a blog about the term, but realized I didn’t have a clear idea about what compassion meant. So I’ve been doing some reading and some thinking and a lot of trout fishing.

The common definition seems simple enough. Compassion means to see that someone is suffering and then take action to help. Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount is all about compassion.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”

He could walk into a crowd and see who was suffering and do something about it. “You’re blind” he says to a couple of guys in the back row. “No worries.” He walks over and gives them sight.

“You’re sick. I can deal with that.”

“You’re hungry and thirsty. Bring me a couple of loaves of bread and water and we can feed the lot of you and have some wine too.”

It’s not all about the miracles, however much they dazzle. What’s behind the miracles?Of course it starts with love for these folks and the experience of a deep empathy with their burdens. Those feelings of love and empathy are really the key to understanding compassion. From there, it’s a a short bridge to action. Doing what you can to heal the pain or suffering that the other person or being is experiencing.

We may not have the power to give the kind of miracles that Jesus did, but being compassionate can be its own kind of miracle both for the giver and receiver of it.

Many decades ago when I had long, dark hair, I was in Mazatlan, Mexico. I didn’t have much money, but it was enough for a bus ticket back to the border. But then one night I was robbed of my last few pesos (A story with a Canadian villain), and needed to get creative. My solution? I hopped a freight train to Nogales on the Arizona border (A story about a long, dusty night drinking tequila and singing with my fellow hoboes). I was a dirty, tired mess when I crossed through Immigration into America with a basket carrying my sleeping bag and other essentials. On the U.S side, an older Mexican man approached me and wanted to shake my hand. I was a little suspicious, but shook hands anyway. When I took my hand back, I discovered the gent had given me a quarter which amounted to 25 times more money than I had in my pocket. He smiled, patted me on the back and wished me “buena suerte.”

Have you ever noticed that you can count on poor people to help you out when times are difficult? Anyways, a little money in my pocket helped me buy some fruit and carrots to feed me while hitchhiking from Nogales to San Diego (A story about dodging trouble from overly friendly escaped prisioners). But more importantly what sustained me was the feeling that someone, a stranger, saw my plight, cared and took action to help. This man’s act of charity has stuck with me since. By being a receiver of compassion it helped me understand the value of giving compassion in small ways to panhandlers on the street, and in larger ways too.

This is a simple story of how I learned about compassion, but it can be more complicated. As I read more in the Buddhist, Vedic and Christian texts I found there are some associated issues that anyone who is serious about compassion must confront.

What’s the deal about forgiveness?

What’s the difference between empathy and compassion?

Are there limits to compassion?

What if those that are suffering don’t want your darn compassion?

Are you helping to gain fame or something else?

What are the “little things” you need to be concerned about to avoid hurting others?

What is ahimsa (non-violence)?

All good questions, which I’ll delve into later. But for now, when I think of compassion, I envision a gentle Mexican man on the Arizona border helping out a poor American boy.

Canti.

Dave

Extra Credit: Guess who said this?

“It’s not about how much you do but how much love you put into what you do that counts.”