“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.”
You want to get rid of stress, fear, foreboding, bad dreams and lots of other junk? Then follow Martin Luther King Jr.’s advice and make forgiveness an everyday part of your life. Forgiveness is like pouring clean water into a murky glass. The pure water eventually dilutes the grease and grime of human life, opening the way to Nirvana and Moksa. Here are some actions to consider:
Say a prayer out loud that includes “please forgive me” asking the supreme being to forgive you for the wrongs you know you’ve committed, and those you may not be aware of.
Meditate silently, and forgive those that have hurt you and your loved ones.
Ask for forgiveness from someone that you’ve hurt.
Tell someone who hurt you and your loved ones that you forgive them.
Do a ritual cleanse like the Balinese water purification ceremony (See Washing It Off blog, August 10, 2020)
Write down on a piece of paper what you want to be forgiven for, and throw it into the fire. (See Fire Purification blog, August 11, 2020 ).
Make up your own ritual to give and receive forgiveness.
Decide to forgive yourself, sometimes the hardest act of all.
Toss your “You Hurt Me List”
You don’t realize how much your grievances are harming you until you’ve let them go. Have you ever consciously or unconsciously collected a list of complaints about your spouse, friends, enemies, the government? I have, and just so you know, my list has a great deal of merit. My resentment is clearly just. But you know what? Building and keeping my own “You Hurt Me List” was killing me. It made me more resentful, angry, self-righteous and unhappy.
Twenty-five years ago I decided to burn my “You Hurt Me List.” I made the decision because I needed to focus on helping my son Lucas and our family address his new diabetes diagnosis. The righteous grievances I was nursing were getting in the way of meeting that challenge, and so I just let them go.
I just decided I was done with resentment, and the ugly stuff that gets dragged along with it. I didn’t use prayer, meditation or anything else from the above bullet points. If I had been practicing with these tools, I probably wouldn’t have built up the grievance in the first place. I just decided I was done with grievance. I thought it might be a long, involved process with perhaps therapy, and other counseling. Didn’t happen. I just turned on the tap of forgiveness and let its clean water begin to wash the dark stuff away. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I felt lighter and happier almost immediately. I treated my family and friends better. I started to enjoy life more.
There are very sound religious and philosophical reasons why forgiveness is so important to living souls. In fact, I’ve read a great deal about forgiveness in Judaism, Hindu, Christianity, Buddhism, Vedic teachings, etc. But for me at least, I needed a practical taste of the pure tonic of forgiveness to really understand its power.
What about you?
What has your experience been with forgiving and being forgiven? What forgiveness practices have you developed?
I just have one piece of advice: It really doesn’t matter how you do forgiveness, just do it, and do so every frickin day.
