If you want to test your resolve to be kind, compassionate and love unconditionally; visit the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to apply for your Real ID.
DMV trips have always triggered me. It’s the inane, arbitrary procedures that require waiting in numerous lines. The often surly staff. Did I mention the hours long wait. Being informed by an officious staffer that you’re missing a document and you’ll have to return for another visit and wait in line again. Was that a look of glee in her eye when delivering the news?
I confess that I often have responded to such visits with internal seething, teeth gnashing, ranting under my breath and at times biting sarcasm, the latter of course makes things much worse.
Yesterday’s visit was headed in the same direction when I asked a security guard which line I should stand in, and received a curt, insulting answer. My face turned red underneath my mask, but I walked on, where I encountered more DMV staff getting off on their own power trips.
I didn’t rant, but I might have offered a pathetically weak sarcastic rejoinder. However, at least I wasn’t the guy who melted down when told he had stood for two hours in the wrong line.
But I got over it with help from what my Kundalini guru Liya (liyagarber.com) said in class one day: “You can’t control it if people say spiteful things to you, but you can control how you receive it.” You can decide whether to be hurt… or not ..if your partner insults you. And you can decide to get angry.. or not…when the DMV security guard is a jerk.
Of course, this isn’t as easy as it seems. It took me a few minutes to get my head turned around and try not to follow my pattern of getting triggered. So I decided what the hell give it a chance, and just let go of the DMV staff’s bad behavior. And, I must admit, I began to notice a few improvements. I calmed down. Some of the staff were actually quite helpful, competent and nice. The procedures and computer systems seem to have improved too. And it occurred to me maybe I should look at it from their perspective of having to deal with the same questions from stressed customers…all the while wearing a mask and hoping you don’t get infected with COVID.
I’m not sure this qualifies as an epiphany, more of a duh…But I’m marking it down as a step forward in my journey.
And somehow this got me thinking about Nirvana…but that’s the subject of the next blog.
